Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
Release date: 2011 / 229 pages
Synopsis (from the back cover): All parents want to do what’s best for their children… Chinese just have a completely different idea of how to do that. Western parents try to respect their children’s individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions and providing a nurturing environmnet. The Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future and arming them with skills, strong work habits, and inner confidence.
First Sentence: A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids.
Review: I have a very bad habit of falling in love with the first 5 pages of nearly everything I read — I also tend to recommend books prematurely, only to backpedal when the book invariably fails to live up to its early promise. After the first few pages of Battle Hymn, I had written a long list of people to recommend this to, as well as “dog-eared” 5 passages to quote in my review.
Happily, Chua’s work manages to eclipse its early promise and remain funny, insightful, and moving to the very end. And, although I could see the struggle Chua had with the ending (which she described in Coda, the last chapter), this ambivalence was perfectly suited to the journey of this memoir. Chua’s doubt and inability to relinquish control over her daughters resonated through the final pages in a deeply satisfying manner. I also loved hearing her daughters’ voices at the end — not only as a reassurance, but because I had grow to care deeply about both girls and welcomed their perspectives on their mother’s masterpiece.
And masterpiece this is — as a memoir, as comic relief, as a discussion of the differences in parenting between Western and Chinese culture, as a heroine’s journey (of all three heroines). I would have loved more of Jed’s (Amy’s husband) voice, but she rightfully believed that his own story is his to tell.
With wit and insight, Chua satires the permissive philosophy of much of American parenting today. As a high school teacher for 15 years, I witnessed daily the unfortunate result of “befriending” rather than “parenting” children. Although I do not have children of my own, I have spent so much time with kids who have been misled by parents who fail to enforce healthy boundaries.
However, ironically, even the most permissive parent would love Chua’s memoir — and most likely root for the wily and tenacious Lulu from the moment she chose to stand in 20 degree windchill as a 3 year old in protest of playing the piano:
“The wind chill was twenty degrees, and my own face hurt from just a few seconds’ exposure to the icy air. But I was determined to raise an obedient Chinese child — in the West, obedience is associated with dogs and the caste system, but in Chinese culture, it is considered among the highest of virtues — if it killed me. ‘You can’t stay in the house if you don’t listen to Mommy,’ I said sternly. ‘Now, are you ready to be a good girl? Or do you want to go outside?’ Lulu stepped outside.”
Beyond the entertaining parenting stories, Chua’s “voice” is so authentic and she is able to recognize the complexities in all types of parenting, as well as in both the American and Chinese cultures:
“Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50 Western American motehrs and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either than ‘stressing academic success is not good for children’ or that ‘parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun.’ By contrast, 0% of the Chinese mothers felt that same way.”
“This is a story about a mother, two daughters, and two dogs. It’s also about Mozart and Mendelssohn, the piano and the violin, and how we made it to Carnegie hall. This was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. But instead, it’s about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how I was humbled by a thirteen-year-old.”
So, I wholeheartedly recommend this memoir to — everyone! Book clubs would find much to discuss, whether parents or not, but even individual readers would find much pleasure in reading the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.
Interested in winning a free copy? Drop me a comment below and I will choose a lucky winner by the weekend!
This book sounds very interesting! As a parent and former teacher this topic is of high interest to me. Thanks for the opportunity to win a free book.
I just finished the excerpt in the wall street journal and would love to read more. Seems like a fascinating memoir, providing insight into what it’s like “behind the scenes”.
This sounds like a great read for a book group!
This book sounds like a fantastic book club choice!
As a would be father, I would like to see what I can learn upon this interesting take on a seemingly East-vs-West approach on life – in particular, about rearing a child to be successful. I have Amy’s other book on World on Fire and based on her rather controversial views of racial upheaval due to economic inequality in poor nations, I’m sure this is another great read!
I also read the excerpt in the WSJ and put it on my TBR pile then! What a neat surprise to see it offered as a giveaway on Book Club Classics!
Cool.
I think this would be a great book for my reading group. Please count me in on this giveaway:)
~Renee
I would definitely like this book. I have a Chinese niece and have always been interested in reading about past and present Chinese life. I am interested in learning more about how the Chinese and all Asian children are so much more successful than many other cultures.
I’ve been called a “tiger mother,” and I’d love to know exactly what that means! Would love to get a copy of this book.
Thank you so much for my book, Kristen. It arrived in the mail yesterday and I’ve already started it! Also, your business card are just so beautiful and charming.
Thank you thank you thank you!
Our book club always finds much to discuss in nonfiction books such as “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. We recently discussed “Reading Lolita in Tehran,” and although most thought it was difficult to get through, we had much to say. This Chinese v American childrasing sounds as if it would provide much “food for thought.”
Sounds like an interesting book. Would like to read it!!
I am writing in for a chance to win this book — I am of Southeast Asian Chinese origin — and I can empathize with her struggles. My own attempts to inculcate some Chinese values (value of putting in real effort/hard work and respect for parents/elders)in my half-Chinese children of just 7 and 9 has already resulted in them declaring their non-Chineseness and their full Americanness. I can’t wait to read this book. But in the meantime, I want to share two interviews with the author regarding her earlier books on globalism, markets, democracy, ethnic hatred, as well as on historic hyperpower empires.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QenLlFx4cCQ
http://globetrotter.berkeley.edu/people4/Chua/chua-con1.html
Cheers,
KF
I have heard so much about this book in the last few days that my interest is piqued.
I would love a chance to win this! It sounds fantastic!
I love to read how other cultures raise their children. Having a 4 and 6 year old, I need as much guidance/insight as I can get!
I agree…this does sound like a great choice for my book club. Please enter me, thanks.
As an Asian mother, I often struggle with what was taught to be a good mother and what is supposed to be a good mother by the modern western culture. I felt I almost killed myself something trying to balance the 2 points of view. As my daughter grows older, I think I agreed with what Amy Chua on what you quoted” in the West, obedience is associated with dogs and the caste system, but in Chinese culture, it is considered among the highest of virtues”. I will definitely read this book and share it among my friends
Even though I’d probably be classified as a “western mom”, her parenting style sounds extremely fascinating. I wish I’d tried it on my kids!
I see LOTS of people are interested in this book! Oh, my! Too much competition. It sounds very good, and I want very much to read it. Thanks for bringing to our attention.
I think our book club would really enjoy reading this book! We have lots of teachers and moms and we would have a lot to discuss.
i have 6 kids and one on the way…. trying to regain some control! cesar milan has helped in a way, but i could use some instruction on human child tactics
I would love to read this book, it sounds very good.
I just heard a review about this book on NPR and was captivated by the author and her perspective.
Like you, I don’t have any children but even at the age of 25 I see the need for parental boundries and would
love the opportunity to delve into this book. Thank you for quenching my thirst for more perspectives on the book
and the opportunity to win this book. I can’t wait to share
it with my fiancee!
Been looking for a book like this for our moms book club! Look forward to reading it!
I would very much like to read this book.
This book sounds fascinating. My husband and I were just having a discussion about eastern raised children having the advantage and we in America really cater to our children. I saw Amy on the today show and immediately started looking for more info about the book. It sounds very interesting
As the product of certain tenants of that parenting philosophy, I am deeply curious about what she has to say. Thanks!
Sounds like a great read. I would love to be considered for a copy!
I’d like to read this book. I always enjoy books from another culture.
I have particularly enjoyed the comments left for this giveaway!! Chua is already making connections with all of you, too… I wish I had 30 copies to share!
I heard this book reviewed on NPR this weekend, it sounds like a very interesting read. I need to read a book about parenting for a class and this book will make for an interesting read!
I read online about this book, it reminds me so much about my own “tiger mother” at home. I do not resent her at all, unlike comments people have posted on the Wall Street Journal. I and many chinese children thank our mothers for the harsh and strict upbringing. Chinese have this saying that “is a jade is not polished and chiseled it will never be a good tool”, I think that hits the main point that mothers nuture their children to be useful people in society.
I would like to win this book! It sounds very interesting. My daughter was born in China and I think this would be a great book to win!
nancyecdavis AT bellsouth DOT net
I think this book could generate some HEATED debate in a book club! So glad you enjoyed it – thanks for being on the tour.
As one of children raised by tiger mother myself, I’d like to read this book in order to help me understand my parents’ thought process raising me. Thanks for the opportunity!
As a Chinese kid, I’m very interested in the ways of this Chinese American mother. I don’t think she can represent a real Chinese. Also, the way she act to her kids is not acceptable for me. My parents aren’t that strict with me. But hopefully, I think her way may help me in my study.
I just happen to stumble into this website searching to purchase this book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” as a first book for a new book club (2 members so far).I recently read a great review about it in People magazine.I was honored to pick our first book choice.Now I’m working hard researching discussion questions for our very first meeting.I think it’s a wonderful incentive for all of us who love to read to win something too – I would be thrilled if it’s me! Wish me luck.
I think the way that Amy Chua raised her children is not uncommon at all among East Asian and South Asian families living outside of their homelands. Parents raise their children with the best intentions, but at the same time they hurt them as well. What’s really difficult for children living in the scenarios is the contrast between the style of living they have at home and that of their peers’ families. In East Asia, it is not uncommon at all for parents to act like the way Amy Chua did. However, in Asia, many families are like that, so it is accepted as the norm, so children (and adults) do not complain about it much. However, outside of Asia, especially in the US, children living in an East Asian upbringing in the manner that Amy Chua raised her children see a stark contrast between their own upbringings and the relatively “easier” upbringing of their peers. As a result, this creates much anguish and strife, as well as hurt and sadness for the children.
I honestly would love to read this book! So far I’ve only read the WSJ article, but hopefully I can win a copy here (my only other option is to reserve it at the library at my 254th spot). So thank you!
Thank you for your comment, Lucy! I’m afraid I already gave away my copy, but I do think you would enjoy this thought-provoking book — especially after reading your perspective!!
After reading the book and being a parent myself, I believe that parenting is yin and yan. What I mean is that it is important to set healthy boundaries and standards for your kids, but at the same time, it is critical to give them wings to find their individuality and to nurture them along the way. I am a strict mom, but I also believe kids need to learn how to think not what to think. If we only teach them what to do and what to think, they will only be followers and not leaders.
Parenting is a balancing act and what may work for one kid, may not work for another. Ultimately a parent needs to build a respectful, trusting relationship where the children can depend on their parents and go to them when needed, but also know great work ethics and commitment to high standards.
Would it be possible to get some book club
questions for Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother?
This is already a book club selection for our March meeting. Most of the members are former teachers although not all and all but myself are mothers but from an earlier era. Think there may be great discussion around this book. Hope to receive a copy.
I really wish I could get a free copy of the book
A very interesting book.