things i want my daughters to know by Elizabeth Noble

Release date: 2009 / 374 pages

Synopsis (from back cover): When Barbara realizes time is running out, she writes to her four daughters, aware that they will be facing the trials and triumphs of life without her at their side. Lisa is in her midthirties but is incapable of making a committment. Jennifer is buttoned up so tight she could burst. Twentysomething Amanda, the traveler, has always distanced herself from the family. And then there’s Hannah, a teenage girl on the verge of womanhood. By drawing on the wisdom in Barbara’s letters, the girls might just find a way to cope with their loss.

First Line: Dear All of You, Despite my controlling streak, there aren’t too many rules, so far as the funeral goes.

Review: Well, to begin, I will not forget to suggest that you read this with a tissue…  However, I only teared up in a few places — overall, the novel is not maudlin or sappy or even sad, really (beyond the obvious premise).

While I did ultimately enjoy this novel — and do recommend it — I have to begin by saying that it was a really slow starter.  I think the structure brings the characters “to life” slowly for a few reasons.  First, there are quite a few characters — the 4 daughters and their respective partners and in-laws and children, their mother and stepfather, and other more peripheral characters. 

Noble jumps from one daughter to the next pretty quickly, too — but does (thankfully) provide the daughter’s name at the start of her section.  The “chapters” are by month (following the mother’s death) and can be 100 pages long at times.  Lastly, Barbara (the mother) is in the novel through her journal and letters, too.  And some of these excerpts are long.

However, once I got to know the characters — and especially the daughters — the pages started to fly.  Each daughter is flawed, but very likeable — and very well-developed.  This is the sort of novel where you will literally miss the characters once you finish the novel. 

This may sound strange — but I’m not sure Noble needed the “frame” of Barbara’s death.  It provides an interesting context, but the characters could have stood alone without their mother’s interjections from the grave.

Here’s a sample of Noble’s wisdom:

He realized he’d forgiven Barbara in an instant.  Because he wanted to.  He wondered if Andy wanted to forgive Lisa.  It was different, of course.  But also the same.  You made new rules for the people you loved.  They weren’t subject to the same judgment criteria you reserved for the rest of the world.  In some ways you were way easier on them, and in others, much harder.

So, who is this book for?  Well, frankly, women.  Most women, I think, especially those with daughters (although I do not and still enjoyed it).  Experience with grief will neither add nor detract to your enjoyment, although fresh grief will probably prompt more tears, I think.

So, interested in winning a free copy?  Simply leave me a comment — I’ll pick a winner soon!

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