The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: Review and Free Giveaway

Product DetailsThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert by John Gottman and Nan Silver

Release date: 2012 / 288 pages

Synopsis (from According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There’s much more to a solid, “emotionally intelligent” marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out–though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts. Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his “love lab” that it only takes five minutes for him to predict–with 91 percent accuracy–which couples will eventually divorce.

Review: After four decades scientifically scrutinizing long-term romance in his “love lab” at the University of Washington in Seattle, Dr. John Gottman believes he has arrived at a mathematical definition of trust that can determine with great accuracy whether or not a couple’s love will last. Gottman, an optimist at heart, says this discovery can salvage many unhappy relationships and provides hands-on, concrete exercises and tools to facilitate reconciliation in What Makes Love Last?

“Betrayal is the secret that lies at the heart of every failing relationship,” Gottman writes, “even if the couple is unaware of it.” Betrayal can take many forms, beyond turning outside the marriage, including putting career before family or the changing of one’s political or spiritual beliefs. The primary antidote to betrayal is trust, and Gottman uses principles derived from game theory to explain why; he defines trust as “the specific state that exists when you are both willing to change your own behavior” for the other’s benefit.

Gottman provides transcripts from actual couples who have high levels of trust as well as those who exhibit four negative modes of communication: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. He includes quizzes to help readers evaluate the state of their own relationships, and then provides specific strategies and suggestions to strengthen any relationship.

Thank you to Shelf Awareness for asking me to read and review this! Interested in a winning a free copy — leave me a comment!

This entry was posted in Future Classics...?. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: Review and Free Giveaway

  1. diane says:

    this book sounds fascinating and well worth reading. thanks for this chance.

  2. ellie says:

    this is an invaluable and wise book to have.

  3. Carl says:

    I read the synopsis on Amazon as well and of course I find Dr. Gottman’s approach very different from the norm. I’d definitely be interested in reading further. Please enter my name in the draw.

  4. Teralee ElBasri says:

    I think every married couple could use some good advice. The idea of betrayal really hits home with me. I think this is a big issue in my own marriage.

  5. Sherrie Gil says:

    This would be a great book to read. Thanks for entering my name.

  6. Claire says:

    Married 32 years but would love to make improvements! Think this would be a great read to jump start.

  7. anne says:

    An intriguing book. Thanks.

  8. Joy says:

    A group at my church is reading this book and I got hold of a copy. I recommend it! I like that it’s based on lots and lots of research, not just one marriage therapist’s practice (not that that can’t work, of course). My husband liked that it’s not just about “better communication” which is the most common marriage advice. And I liked how it says that every couple will have some unresolvable issues, so I don’t need to worry that we’re in trouble if we’re having the same arguments over and over again!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *