I’ve recently read three memoirs, within a week, and have been wondering what we, as readers, expect and truly want from a memoir.
Memoirs are one of the hardest genres for me to review — I feel as if each person has the right to tell a life story as he or she sees fit. However, not all memoirs need to be released into the public domain, either. As a reviewer, I do feel a responsibility to evaluate the “merit” of whatever I read and then share with my readers whether or not I think they will enjoy whatever I’m reviewing.
So, what do I do when I read a memoir that just falls apart at the end? Or what if a memoir is a very sweet recollection that is just dreadfully sappy and has a penchant for simple, declarative sentences (all in a row?). What if a memoir becomes an uncomfortable airing of dirty laundry?
Most recently, I have read memoirs that are brutally honest about percieved poor parenting – brutally, uncomfortably unkind about essentially well-meaning parents (I assume) who just didn’t quite fulfill the needs of their offspring (I’m not talking about A Child Called It, here). And I think watching my sister become a mother for the first time has really made me a bit irritated with these confessions.
I want to take the writers aside and say, “Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a parent? (Two of the memoirists are not parents). I mean it seems REALLY, REALLY hard to parent. As far as I can tell, self-sacrifice, self-doubt, and self-immolation seem to be unavoidable when a parent tries to show a wee little thing how to navigate this really difficult existence! Do you understand that the first few years are, as Jon Stewart recently stated on Letterman, 24 hour suicide watch?”
I just wonder why a person needs to publish something that, at best, seems destined to bring about years of bad karma… and wonder if the memoir would have been published if the parent had still been living.
So, here are my questions to all you memoir readers:
- What do you want from a memoir? If you are going to spend 3 – 5 hours reading about another’s life, do you want brutal honesty? Uplifting saccherine? A rollicking eventful life different from the one you have led thus far? Historical significance?
I’m not sure what my answer is yet, but I’m working on it and would love to hear other opinions…
