Forever Lily by Beth Nonte Russell 
Release date: 2008 / 214 pages
Synopsis (from back cover): When Beth Nonte Russell travels to China to help her friend Alex adopt a baby girl from an orphanage there, she thinks it will be an adventure, a chance to see the world.
First line: “Hanging suspended above the world, on a terrace overlooking the steely waters of the harbor below, I watch as boats glide by in uncanny silence.”
Review: Now, when I requested this book for review, I had only read the above synopsis. I was immediately hooked since I will soon be embarking on a similar journey with my sister when we go to Ethiopia to meet her new daughter.
Once the book arrived, I read the rest of the synopsis:
…But her friend, who had prepared for the adoption for many months, panics soon after being presented with the frail baby, and the situation develops into one of the greatest challenges of Russell’s life…
Yep. The friend can’t handle the pressures of motherhood and Russell ends up adopting the baby girl herself. So, needless to say, I will not be recommending this to my sister (hi Kim!). However, the memoir was really interesting, if not as applicable as I first thought.
There were aspects of the narration that I did not care for, but I think these minor irritations may be unique to me as a reader, and I do think many people would enjoy this memoir. My issues had to do with Russell’s inclusion of so many of her dreams. I even started to skim these passages, since they did not directly affect the “real” narrative. I think most of us are fascinated by our own dreams, as psychological harbingers or litmus tests of who we are are deep down. But reading a stranger’s dreams was simply not interesting to me, even though Russell only includes those dreams that directly relate to her journey toward motherhood.
The other aspect of this memoir that was a bit off-putting is evident in this passage, but might also attract other readers:
It occurs to me that we never really know where our journeys may ultimately take us. We think we know, and try to prepare. We make plans and itineraries, pack clothing for certain types of weather. We take our bodies to specific geographical locations, but how often do we think of the effect it may have upon our souls? How often do we wonder, Why this destination, and not some other? Why have I chosen it, or has it chosen me? What part of myself awaits me there, where I am going?
I guess I felt the reflective tone of much of this memoir might be better suited for a personal journal. I also struggled with Russell’s judgment of China, too. I have been lucky enough to travel to this complex country and was surprised that she was unable to see past the governmental issues to the actual culture and people, which I found to be fascinating and gracious. She does finally acknowledge an affinity for this country at the very end, but after so much judgment preceding it, the realization seemed a little hollow. I also have witnessed the joy and respect my sister has gained from researching her daughter’s birth country — and the many ways she will find to include this country in her daughter’s life so that she, too, respects and embraces this aspect of who she is.
However, I must now turn to what I truly enjoyed about this memoir — Lily! It is immediately apparent that this little girl is a blessing to her new mother, forcing her to turn from her self-reflective analysis to the outward world of others. I also adored her husband’s ability to immediately accept Lily, without a second thought. Here is a passage that illustrates the power of Lily:
All my stated reasons for coming on this trip are swept away… and I know my true purpose is… to stop that cycle of pain in at least one life, and with this chance I have been given, to redeem my own.
So, if you are interested in adoption, in motherhood, in journaling or memoir… or in redemption… then I think you should enjoy this book.
And, if you are interested in winning a free copy, drop me a comment!
This looks like a very special book! Good luck to you and your sister!
“So, if you are interested in adoption, in motherhood, in journaling or memoir… or in redemption… then I think you should enjoy this book.”
3 out of 4 ~ sounds like a wonderful book. Please enter me to win a copy.
hawkes(at)citlink.net
I hope your sister’s adoption goes smoothly. I have a good friend who adopted three kids, and it never fails to amaze me when I see how those three kids resemble their adopted parents. They were meant to be in that family.
I would love to read this book, and then pass it on to her!
I thought about your trip to Ethiopia as soon as I saw this pop up in my email – I wish all three of you a safe trip!
I have a neighbor-friend who has two daughters from China – they are wonderful girls and I adore them – the funny thing about this family – mom tries so hard to maintain the girl’s ethnic heritage and culture and the girls resist it like crazy – the eldest tells her “Mom, I’m an American!” They don’t want Chinese things (which is BTW from an American perspective and is WILDLY different)- they want Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus. The eldest daughter is pre-teen and quite the bookworm so I share my younger books with her. Right now she’s into “Dewey – the Library Cat”. The younger sister is a complete tom-boy and so we regularly receive gifts of bugs in jars.
You had me at “adoption.” I’d love to read this memoir. Thank you for the chance.
geebee.reads AT gmail DOT com
Thank you for all of the well wishes!!
I’ll choose a lucky winner tomorrow!!
If it’s not too late I’d love to be entered to win this!
Congratulations, Karina! I hope you enjoy it (even more than I did…)
Hey! I am just popping over from the comment you left at 5M4B. THanks for leaving the link behind. Awesome review and I think we totally agree. How special is it that you get to go with your sister to pick up her daughter? That’s so wonderful!
Thanks again for sharing!
Thank YOU, Carrie! I was afraid I was a little negative in my review, so it helped to read that my opinions were shared by another reader… Thanks for stopping by!
I finished reading this book last week, and my review is more positive than yours! I truly loved it. I thought that the book was about how the author went from being somewhat self-focused to realizing that there is a whole wonderful world of others who are worthy of being focused on. In some ways, I think the author did not grow up until she went to China. I did skim over some of the dream parts, but they were part of her growing-up process. I don’t believe in reincarnation, and the dreams seemed to be saying that she was that Chinese woman reborn. Instead, I think the meaning was that she was supposed to realize that other people live lives that are rich with blessings and trials and that we cannot simply look at our own blessings and trials.
I have already loaned this book to a friend who has adopted a boy. I can’t wait to see what she thinks of it.