photo credit: wikked one
Last month I reprinted EW’s list of memoir madness and received a thought-provoking comment that resurfaced while reading an article in O magazine. The list was structured so as to imply that our world has become “memoir happy” — with 22 categories (like “Fell in love with… His Truck” and “Discovered… Mother left a convent and assumed a false identity”) with long lists of examples for each category.
The reader‘s compassionate comment was:
“I have to say that as a memoir-lover, this list kinda irks me because it seems to trivialize the very real issues dealt with in these books! I know it’s just a “fun” list, still, there is something mocking about it….but I guess that’s the EW wouldn’t be entertaining without some mocking…”
This pulled me up short. While I enjoy edgy, sometimes even snarky humor, I also believe that we each have a story to tell and the right to tell it, and was grateful to SmallWorldReads for reminding of this…
So, while flipping though O magazine, the following quote resonated:
“Tell me a story. Tell me your story. Wait — let me get comfortable. Okay, talk to me, tell me who you really are. This is what we feel as we sit down to read a memoir. Wh have a craving for connection, an urge to share a confidence. We want an insider’s glimpse of someone else’s life: Not what happened… but what the writer makes of what happened… ‘It’s all in the art,’ V.S. Pritchett said. ‘You get no credit for living.’”
So, what do YOU think? Do you agree with EW that our compulsion to spill our secrets and tell our stories has gotten out of hand? Should only “artists” be allowed to craft their memories for public consumption? Should every story be honored (and published)? Would you ever write (and publish) your memoirs?
I, on the other hand, am usually rather bothered by memoirs. If I want to learn about a person, I read an biography. I guess memoirs are about telling a personal story, but I don’t find a connection with many of the people. I guess I disbelieve them too much. Their lives are overly dramatic and yes, I do think people feel compelled to spill their secrets every time something even slightly interesting happens. I don’t think every story should be published. But I’m obviously the minority, since many people love reading other people’s dirty secrets.
How fitting your last line was today of all days, since Maureen McCormick’s tell-all memoir was released today!
I think the money aspect feels a little… funny, too? I’m a pretty private person, so mining my own or my family’s secrets for money feels wrong.
So, Rebecca, why would you prefer to read about someone’s life written by/filtered through another’s perspective? I wonder where the line between memoir and autobiography is drawn too?
Thanks for continuing this. I do want to throw in something else: perhaps we should distinguish between tell-all celebrity memoirs, a la Maureen, and carefully crafted, lyrical, literary memoirs–written not for the sake of shock value or entertainment purposed but for the craft of writing.
Just a thought!
I have written many memoirs – just never published them – tee hee.
I was reading the other comments and I agree with all of the views stated – so what does that mean? Well – people are going to publish their stories for various reasons be it personal, financial, notoriety, etc. and we, the readers, are drawn to them for some of the same reasons: the topic strikes a personal chord, we review books professionally and the memoir happens to be “next on the list”, or we have an interest in the author’s notoriety, etc.
I think also – that blogs kind of fall into the ssame gendre in a way. Why do people start blogs? Is it for the same reason people write memoirs? And why do people subscribe to the blogs or post comments? Is it the same reasons we read memoirs? I dunno the answer – but to me, it kind of feels the same. Hmmm. Wasn’t planning on being philosophical before noon today…[sigh]
As a daily reader of obituaries, I often wonder about, as Paul Harvey might put it: “the rest of the story.” Furthermore, the typical individual these days have so many careers, are involved in so many interesting post-career adventures, and have so many stories to tell that many of these stories are well worth reading. Also, the official reporting venues, the “press” and the “media” today are so frequently held to have a “perspective”, that I welcome the point of view of a well written memoir by someone who had first hand experience and a different point of view on significant events of the day.
I think there is a huge difference in the organization of memoir versus biography/autobiography. Memoir focuses on specific events, conversations, etc. Flashbacks are common. Biography or autobiography focuses on an individual’s entire life. Since I’m more likely to read about someone I’m interested in, I’d be most likely to want to know about the entire life. I think looking at the most interesting events in the perspective of the entire life is much more interesting. I guess these are all just my definitions; I don’t know what makes it “official.”
As for the “filtered through….” thing. What makes you think a memoir is accurate? There is nothing but memory there. It’s specific stories filtered through memories. Biography is researched. And while it still obviously is going to be colored by the time period in which it is being written and the author who is researching and writing it, I trust it far more than I would a memoir, always taking in to account the author’s purpose.
Autobiographies are even more interesting to me because it’s obvious that people remember events of their life based on what happened later. I recently read Katharine Graham’s autobiography and I’m sure all her accounts of early marriage are now filtered through her memories of her husband’s subsequent suicide. I think it adds a greater depth and interest.
There is a place for memoir, though. Take The Glass Castle, a memoir of a now-successful reporter recalling her neglect-filled childhood. An autobiography would have been horribly boring, as she researched and rehashed what happened each year. Instead, a memoir caught her memories and made them come alive. It lacked a tell-all tone and that’s why I can say I actually liked it, despite being a memoir of a rotten childhood.
I write blogs because I love the conversations. I don’t think memoirs start conversations in the same way. And printing all your blog entries in a book isn’t going to be a memoir, I don’t think.
Sorry for such a huge comment….
I agree, Greg, I think memoirs give great perspective on situations.
I am loving the conversation today!! Thank you everyone! Each time I peek at my blog another thought-provoking comment appears for me to contemplate…
So, let me get a little crazy here… A part of me always considers a memoir to be “the truth” even if it’s only the writer’s truth (i.e. — filtered through memory) and doesn’t necessarily correspond to the facts. Is that going too far?
I, too, loved The Glass Castle and read it in one devouring session. I wonder what her parents’ memoir would be like? Probably very, very different. But is this any less “true”?
I think I need to check out a couple of autobiographies — what should I start with?
I like this conversation too, but I hope I’m not writing way too much.
It depends on what you are interested in, Kristen. Biographies for me really depend on the person, subject matter, etc. Because the ones I read tend to be 400-500 pages, I have to really want to get to know the person, the setting, etc. For example, if you like science, read Einstein’s biography. But then I would the various ones available, because not all are created equal. A rotten biography could ruin the genre.
I don’t think all biographies are so long, just the ones I’ve been reading lately…
So again, what are you interested in?
Good question! I’m interested in so many things… let me think about this a bit and get back to you! I do wish I had retained more of my history classes in school… Maybe I should start with American history? Too broad? Honestly, I just love reading about what makes interesting people tick! But “interesting” is so broad…
I really liked John Adams by David McCullough. I listened to the audiobook on the way to and from work. It took a while but it certainly made the drive pleasant.
I also recently read Walter Issaacson’s Einstein. It was also very good.
I’m a reader of memoirs, but I’m always careful to say “personal memoir, not celebrity memoir.” So, you see where I stand on the tell-all-gossip vs. what-shaped-me tales.
I do believe everyone has a story to tell, whether their “memoir” would fit on one page or an entire book. The craft is in the telling, making it interesting, compelling the reader to want to connect in some way with you.
Thank you, Rebecca! I will definitely check those titles out — sounds like my husband would be interested,too. Maybe we could do either on tape as we drive to our cabin?
Good distinction, Dawn. I agree with you regarding craft, too — any story could be worth reading if written well enough!
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